The Top Reasons People Don’t Live Life the Way They Want To
#1: You look for a career before finding your purpose.
The problem: Mistakenly associating status, accomplishments, money or possessions with fulfillment, joy, and happiness.
Our culture has minimized success to a checklist of boxes: finish school, go to college, get a degree, get married, have kids, get a job, and then tolerate it long enough for the retirement checks to start coming in. This is a well-worn old path that pushes people to live a life of conformity, not of life-giving energy producing purpose.
You get so busy with distractions and avoiding your own self-induced fears of not being good enough, smart enough, creative enough, pretty enough that you hardly ever stop to ask, “Am I happy and fulfilled? Furthermore, if not, what’s the best way to go about changing my life?”
Living your purpose isn’t the easiest path. The fear of struggle, embarrassment, risk, and the unknown creates a mind trap that prevents people from living their dream.
Many people choose their career and life path because it complements the “boxes” they were instructed to check.
Not having a purpose to guide your life leaves people feeling empty like they can’t “get enough” to fill the void inside. They go from one quick fix distraction to the next. They don’t yet understand that long-term happiness and fulfillment is found by striving for something greater than making more money. They run the risk of burnout and workaholism.
#2: You’ve learned to live life from the outside in, instead of the inside out.
Many people have been taught and conditioned from a very early age to look to others for guidance and direction, learning how to behave in response to others. The problem starts when you rely on others for something as personal as your life purpose, value or worth.
The problem: People that live from the outside in would rather just fit in where they’ve been told they belong because it’s familiar, comfortable and it makes more sense for them. They tend to rely on approval and acceptance from others and voluntarily play small and justify holding themselves back. They tend to gravitate to their given “place” in life. In order to sustain approval from others, they resign or sacrifice their purpose and chronically deny who they are and who they want to be. For these people, their purpose becomes living for someone else’s acceptance or approval.
#3: You’re not comfortable with inner silence.
Our culture doesn’t value inner silence, or stillness. It values and rewards movement and action.
Many people have had some rough experiences in the past, and the silence inside allows the pain to surface for healing to take place. The first reaction is to avoid it at all costs, unfortunately, at your own expense.
The problem: Living life without silence causes you to live in your head disconnected from your heart. You end up thinking that what you think you want is your purpose. Living your life stuck in your head leaves you to burnout saying to yourself “If I have such a great life why am I not fulfilled?”
Imagine you find yourself stuck on the road in your car because the road is closed for construction. If it is going to take hours or days do you just sit and wait until the road opens again or do you find another way? You find an exit or take the detour. You don’t just sit there and wait, you find another way! It’s the same thing in life, if you are on the wrong road and it’s not moving along, it doesn’t feel right or good, it’s up to you to find another way!
“Every decision you’ve made in the past has allowed you to gather information so you can make more informed, better decisions! You are in control of the decisions you make, and you are always free to make new choices that will lead you to your true purpose.” – Dave Ryder
You are not obligated to stay on that old painful worn-out path just because you’ve committed to it years ago. Especially if it’s not supporting YOU in the lifestyle you want to live.
It’s your purpose that puts you on the right road that was meant just for you.